sg_five_things | Prompt 74.01

Five times Daniel wanted to tell Jack he loved him, but didn't.

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Date: 2009-07-05 09:01 pm (UTC)

From:

jd-junkie.livejournal.com

Five times Daniel wanted to tell Jack he loved him, but didn't

Friendship mattered to Daniel. It mattered because it was a rare jewel to be treasured. He didn’t have many friends in his life. He had colleagues and acquaintances and a smattering of jealous professional enemies.

So friendships were to be nurtured and cherished.

Jack’s friendship, in particular, mattered.

He loved the man. He loved him in ways that were difficult and profound and impossible for him to articulate. He couldn’t fully define his feelings, so how could he explain or share them?

When Jack swept into the SGC locker room after returning the life form that looked like Charlie to the planet of the crystal entities, and when Jack just sat that on the bench with his head in his hands, mute, desolate and alone, Daniel tried to offer comfort and reassurance.

But the words wouldn’t come. So Daniel simply sat beside him, making sure their shoulders touched lightly and waited until Jack finally stood silently, nodded to him once and left for home.

When Jack got drunk at Daniel’s place after Frank Cromwell died, when Jack forgot himself and told Daniel things from his past that Daniel hadn’t wanted to hear and Jack hadn’t meant to tell him, and when Jack finally fell deeply asleep where he sat, Daniel covered him with a blanket and watched him sleep. And Daniel didn’t say the words.

When Jack returned from Edora, dislocated from his life and unsure of his place in his world, and when Jack invited Daniel out for surf and turf and told him everything about the planet that was his home for one hundred days, everything except something that Daniel knew was hurting Jack somewhere deep inside, Daniel listened then said he was glad Jack was home. And Daniel still didn’t say the words.

When Jack told him to shut up on the mission that went to hell, and when, later, they had a blazing argument in the privacy of the briefing room, a fierce exchange of views that descended into pain that stretched the boundaries of their love, Daniel shook his head and wanted to say the words more than ever.

When Jack came out of deep freeze, when he made some crass joke about twins and Teal’c’s hair, and when he looked at Daniel with nothing but relief and affection, Daniel felt something crack inside his heart and finally recognized his feelings for what they were. His throat seized and he couldn’t say what he wanted to say. So he smiled and simply luxuriated in the joy of having Jack back.

And then.

When Jack became The Man and cleared his desk at the Mountain, when 1,500 miles stood between the man who was the closest thing to a best friend Daniel had ever had and the aching possibility of something more, Daniel pulled Jack into a desperate, close hug and said the words.

And Jack said them back.

Date: 2009-07-06 04:27 am (UTC)

From:

cleothemuse.livejournal.com

Almost...

I always wanted to tell Jack I loved him, but the time never seemed right.

I wanted to tell him after he gave me that infamous "Spacemonkey" hug. I was scared out of my mind thinking he'd died aboard Klorel's ship because I'd cheated death again. When he hugged me, I knew he'd been just as afraid that I'd died because he'd left me behind. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the room was full of Air Force and Marine personnel, and I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after we got him back from Edora. He seemed to have had something going on with Laira, though, and I didn't want to interrupt his farewell. As soon as we got back to base, he was whisked off to a private meeting with General Hammond, and emerged from that in a foul mood. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but when I came over to his house after he "retired", I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after I asked him to let me go. Oma was giving me an incredible opportunity, and since there was no way to know if Jacob could actually heal me, I decided to take it. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but at the time, there didn't seem to be much life left to live. I wanted to tell him I loved him before I walked through the otherworldly 'Gate, but since I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after he stuck his head in the Ancient repository. He deliberately had his brains scrambled in the faint hope we might discover something to protect Earth, and unlike the last time it happened, he knew exactly how deadly the Ancient knowledge could be. Earth was saved thanks to him, and the only way we could save him was to put him into suspended animation until the Asgard could be contacted. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but since I didn't think he would hear me, I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after he retired. After more than thirty years in the Air Force, he said he'd had enough, and appointed General Landry to take charge of the Homeworld Security office. Jack's first few weeks as a civilian were spent at his cabin in Minnesota, and then he finished unpacking his things at his new house in Malibu. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but standing on the beach with Vala at my side, watching as Jack and Sara renewed their old vows, I couldn't make myself say it.

Edited Date: 2009-07-06 04:27 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-06 01:30 pm (UTC)

From:

Stargate "Five Things"

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