The Pentangular Gate

I always wanted to tell Jack I loved him, but the time never seemed right.

I wanted to tell him after he gave me that infamous "Spacemonkey" hug. I was scared out of my mind thinking he'd died aboard Klorel's ship because I'd cheated death again. When he hugged me, I knew he'd been just as afraid that I'd died because he'd left me behind. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the room was full of Air Force and Marine personnel, and I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after we got him back from Edora. He seemed to have had something going on with Laira, though, and I didn't want to interrupt his farewell. As soon as we got back to base, he was whisked off to a private meeting with General Hammond, and emerged from that in a foul mood. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but when I came over to his house after he "retired", I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after I asked him to let me go. Oma was giving me an incredible opportunity, and since there was no way to know if Jacob could actually heal me, I decided to take it. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but at the time, there didn't seem to be much life left to live. I wanted to tell him I loved him before I walked through the otherworldly 'Gate, but since I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after he stuck his head in the Ancient repository. He deliberately had his brains scrambled in the faint hope we might discover something to protect Earth, and unlike the last time it happened, he knew exactly how deadly the Ancient knowledge could be. Earth was saved thanks to him, and the only way we could save him was to put him into suspended animation until the Asgard could be contacted. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but since I didn't think he would hear me, I couldn't make myself say it.

I wanted to tell him after he retired. After more than thirty years in the Air Force, he said he'd had enough, and appointed General Landry to take charge of the Homeworld Security office. Jack's first few weeks as a civilian were spent at his cabin in Minnesota, and then he finished unpacking his things at his new house in Malibu. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but standing on the beach with Vala at my side, watching as Jack and Sara renewed their old vows, I couldn't make myself say it.