sg_five_things | Prompt 63.01

Five suggested missions that Hammond nixed without a second thought

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1. Dr. Jackson’s proposal for a month-long underwater archaeology expedition which might or might not have been related to the Greek god Neptune. There was no way he could justify spending that much money, not to mention nobody at SGC was a marine archaeologist and they lacked the appropriate equipment. But that made him realize SG-1 hadn’t been on an archaeological mission lately, so he approved a mission to study a ruined temple of Ra. It wasn’t until he was driving home in the evening that he began to suspect that had been Dr. Jackson’s plan all along.

2. Major Ferretti’s suggestion that SG-2 could cement the friendship between Earth and Hakonikos by participating in the Hakonikonian Olympics. That had seemed like a reasonable enough plan until Lieutenant Ulster let it slip that some of the events were potentially fatal. Hammond thought perhaps SG-2 was getting a bit complacent about cheating death.

3. After SG-7 came back from a planet transitioning into a little ice age, Colonel O’Neill made the case that they should introduce the population to hockey. Hammond was inclined to be lenient, since SG-1 had just come back from their ordeal with that damned addictive light, but hockey lessons were simply out of the question. Instead he sent them to a nice uninhabited planet where they tried panning for naquadah.

4. Dr. Lee’s requested mission to P1D-996. MALP footage had captured something that actually looked like the Loch Ness Monster, and the biologists threatened mutiny when Hammond refused to let them go. Fortunately, not one of them was any good with a weapon. And evidently not one of them had a sense of self-preservation, because the footage had also shown enormous wasps trying to sting the MALP and their stingers were so large, the resulting blood loss for a human would clearly be a problem.

5. Teal’c desperately wanted to go take revenge on Amaterasu’s First Prime. He proposed a complicated mission involving the Prometheus, fitting SG-3 with Anise’s armbands, and the use of more grenades than SGC usually went through in a quarter. That had been the first sign that SG-1 was infected with alien bacteria. Hammond could only thank his lucky stars it wasn’t a contagious variety of bacteria.

Date: 2010-06-10 08:21 pm (UTC)

sid

1. *snickers at clever!Daniel*

2. You know, that (minus the fatal bit, of course) would be a great idea for a fic!

3. Oh, Jack. Hockey isn't the answer to everything. :-D

4. *shivers and makes sure there are no holes in any windowscreens*

5. Now I want to know what effect the bacteria had on the rest of SG-1! Or maybe they were just busy helping shape Teal'c's ~~batshit insane~~ plan. *nods*