Prompt 102.02

[skieswideopen]

Five times Teal'c averted a diplomatic incident


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[ent-alter-ego.livejournal.com]

He recognized the address of P1X-994 as a world once ravaged by Apophis and his Jaffa. While Teal’c had never personally been there, he had no doubt that his appearance would hinder the mission. O’Neill was likely to protest if Teal’c removed himself on that basis alone. Therefore, after some deliberation, Teal’c was able to present certain angles of the truth more strongly than others, and received permission from General Hammond to go to the Land of the Light and visit his son. The mission to P1X-994 went smoothly without him.

SG-1 got into a firefight with Jaffa serving Yu and in the process did considerable damage to a tree of great significance to a race known as the Koliad. Daniel Jackson was distressed, not only at the damage but at the potential to harm relations with the Koliad. Teal’c neatly covered the bullet holes with staff blasts which could be blamed on Yu’s Jaffa.

With less than a second to spare, he prevented O’Neill from petting what, to Tau’ri eyes, appeared to be a dog. It was in fact a vosh-da, revered on most worlds not ruled by the Goa’uld. Touching a vosh-da was permissible only after undergoing a ritual cleansing, which O’Neill of course had not. Daniel Jackson believed that, had Teal’c not intervened, SG-1 would have been taken as temple servants for a year of atonement.

While his teammates attempted to convince the inhabitants of P4Z-287 that SG-1 meant no harm by interrupting the crowning of their king, Teal’c noticed a suspicious person. He kept a close watch and, when the man pulled out a knife in close proximity to the king, Teal’c swiftly disarmed the would-be assailant without causing any permanent damage. The king was most grateful and SG-1’s interruption was immediately forgotten.

He convinced the Ophivo that their stew was delicious but, unfortunately, the other members of SG-1 were vegetarians. This eliminated the likelihood that Major Carter, who was not talented at hiding her disgust when she disliked food, would offend the highly sensitive and naquadah-rich Ophivo. The stew was the single most disgusting thing Teal’c had ever eaten, made of animal organs never meant to be consumed. In thanks each of his teammates took him out for an excellent dinner on Earth.

Five times Teal'c averted a diplomatic incident - Part One

[sid]

“Five times?” Sam says. “That should be pretty easy.”

“Actually, you know, sometimes Teal’c actually causes diplomatic incidents.”

“Come on, Jack, that’s hardly fair.”

“Might not be fair, but it’s accurate.”

“That’s… beside the point. Try to focus.”

“Carter?”

“Me? Okay. Well, okay, there was the time on P7Y-812 when none of us wanted to eat the fruit they offered us in the welcoming ceremony.”

“Gah, don’t remind me. I can still smell it,” Jack says, making a face.

“Teal’c can probably still taste it,” Daniel points out. “His symbiote couldn’t protect him from that.”

“He’s a good man,” Jack says, nodding. “Okay, I’ve got one. That planet with the wild strawberry thingies. Speaking of fruit.”

“Nine-four something. That was a while ago.”

“We know where you mean, sir.”

“Teal’c recited that Jaffa nursery rhyme that was all full of blood and thunder and guts….”

“I don’t remember any guts, Jack. It was mostly symbolic as I recall.”

“Well, it symbolized that Teal’c was nobody to mess with, and that the jokers that were trying to stir up trouble had better skedaddle on home and leave the diplomacy to their elected leaders and the scary guy and his friends.”

“True,” Daniel agrees. “It was pretty fascinating, as a glimpse into Jaffa culture, I mean. Just think what childhood must have been like for Teal’c.”

“I’d really rather not.”

“Then think about how different it will be for Ry’ac’s children’s generation,” Sam offers.

“Yes.” Daniel looks at Jack thoughtfully. “They’ll be playing baseball instead of memorizing intimidating poetry.”

“Do I detect a tone?” Jack asks haughtily.

“No, no.”

“Hey, you contributed to the fund!”

“I don’t actually remember being given a choice.”

Sam clears her throat. “It’s your turn, Daniel.”

Daniel stops glaring at Jack. “Right.”

“Try to focus,” Jack says with a smirk.

Sam hides a grin.

Daniel rolls his eyes. “Okay. Okay, how’s this one? P2X-787.”

“Oh, boy,” Sam mutters, closing her eyes.

Jack looks at her. “What?”

“Doesn’t ring any bells, Jack?”

“Refresh my memory.”

“Princess Alivia.”

“Oy.”

“You tripped.”

“Yes, Daniel. I tripped.”

“And you put out your hand to catch yourself….”

“I was not aiming for her breast.”

“No,” Daniel agrees. “It was really just an example of your extraordinary hand-eye coordination. I mean, you hadn’t taken your eyes off her breasts, so it was only natural….”

“Can we move on, please?”

“I haven’t finished,” Daniel says, smiling sweetly.

Sam hides another grin.

Jack sighs and waves a hand.

“And then Teal’c saved the day, before the guards could run you through, or slice you open or whatever they had in mind. It was really quick thinking on his part.”

“Yes, it was.”

“I’ll admit I was too alarmed at the time to really appreciate it, but in retrospect….”

“Daniel.”

“The way he slapped your face. Sheer genius.”

“You done?”

“But really, it was the way he shouted at you and called you a clumsy fool that really sold it.”

“You done now?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Carter? If you will? And need I add, I’m counting on you to raise the tone of this conversation.”

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

“I have faith.”

Five times Teal'c averted a diplomatic incident Part Two of Two

[sid]

“Thank you, sir. Well, I was thinking about the time actually that Teal’c sort of,” Sam makes a complicated pattern with her hand movements, “negotiated a truce between Dad and Selmak.”

Daniel chuckles. “I wish I’d been there.”

Jack and Sam look at each other. Jack pats Daniel on the shoulder. “We wish you’d been there, too.”

Sam smiles at Daniel. “It was something to see. Dad’s head kept dipping and coming back up, and sometimes his eyes would be glowing, and it was like the rest of us weren’t even in the room. It was all Dad and Selmak arguing like crazy, and Selmak wanting to get up and walk out and throw the whole Tok’ra-Earth alliance away.”

“And Hammond was working up quite a head of steam. Selmak wasn’t exactly pulling any punches.”

“And then Teal’c slammed his hand down on the table and roared, ‘Enough!’ and started lecturing them like they were a pair of little kids.” Sam laughs at the memory.

“And in the end, they were so united in their awe of T’s frickin’ awesomeness that they stopped bitching at each other and thus the alliance was saved. For what that’s worth.” Jack shrugs. “You want this last one, Daniel?”

“Oh, no, you go ahead.” Daniel waves a hand.

“Yeah, okay. Just last week, Teal’c averted a huge incident. When the SGC was in negotiations with the Vistorans.”

Daniel frowns. “I heard everything went smoothly. You never said anything….”

“Wait, what was Teal’c doing there?” Sam asks.

“Here’s the situation: their planet’s on a completely different clock than ours.”

“Riiight, the negotiations had to be held in the middle of the night, our time. You were thrilled about that, as I recall.”

“And things took longer than planned. So our guys are getting a little tired and cranky; their guys aren’t gonna make it home for supper and the snacks disappeared long ago. People start digging in their heels just to be obstinate.”

“The whole thing’s going down the tubes,” Daniel says, frowning.

“But where does Teal’c come in?” Sam asks again.

“T comes trotting into the room with half a dozen pizzas, and suddenly the galaxy is safe for democracy.” Jack grins. “And anchovies.”

“Wait. How…?”

“And just why would Teal’c… where would he get the idea to do something like that?”

“If I recall correctly, we just established his awesomeness a minute ago.”

“Jaaack.”

“I have the strangest feeling that something’s being left out of this story, Colonel.”

“Really?”

“Jack?”

“Yes, Daniel?”

“What part do you play in this… saving the galaxy?” Daniel gestures and raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, I may have happened to crave a moment of relative sanity and therefore sought out my main man during a bathroom break in order to do a little, shall we say, venting.”

“Ah!”

“Ah?”

“I’m beginning to get a picture of who the crankiest person in that room might have been.”

“Ah!” Sam says. “And that person would be someone who was craving something besides relative sanity, maybe?”

“And maybe this person happened to mention this other craving?”

Jack tries to look modest. “Maybe. Just in passing.”

“So Teal’c averted a major diplomatic incident because you had a hankering for pepperoni?” Daniel’s voice rises.

“Isn’t it funny how that works?”

“Very funny, sir.” Sam exchanges a look with Daniel.

“Hilarious,” Daniel says sourly.

“What a guy,” Jack says admiringly.

”Are we still talking about Teal’c?”

“What?”

“What?”

Sam hides a grin.

[antares04a.livejournal.com]

Five lovely idead about how Teal'c saved the day. *g*

But I have to admit my favourite is Daniel telling the story with Jack and his hand-eye-coordination ... *lol*