“We would otherwise be here all day,” Teal’c answers.
“Okay, good point. You start, Sam.”
“Well, she lied about liking the earrings I gave her for her birthday. She hasn’t worn them even once.”
“A social lie? A little white lie?”
“Hey, I offered to take her with me to exchange them if she didn’t like them. All she had to do was say so.”
Daniel wags his head back and forth. “Yeahhh, maybe she thought it was more polite not to say anything.”
“Is excessive politeness one of Vala Mal Doran’s attributes?”
“Ha!” Sam laughs.
“Ah, no, maybe not. My turn? She lied about those charges on my credit card. Victoria’s Secret? I think I would remember if I’d been shopping there recently.”
“Did she show you what she bought?”
“You’re not funny, Sam. Teal’c?”
“I have not seen her undergarments.”
“Ha! Count your blessings. No, I meant it’s your turn.”
“She lied about having sexual relations with you.”
“She wishes. Wait. Why are you looking at Sam? Oh, you’re….”
“She what?”
“Indeed.”
“That little….”
“I believe the word is ‘minx’, Colonel Carter.”
“No, no, no. That isn’t the word I was thinking of.”
“Down, Sam. Who’s got a good number 4?”
“Hell, I should’ve led off with this one. ‘Protect a fellow sister’ my ass.”
“I cannot wait.”
“She lied about how long she was a host to Qetesh.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Think about it, Daniel. You don’t get it?”
“Nor do I.”
“That’s because you aren’t women.”
“Oh! In other words, she lied about her age.”
“And asked me not to rat her out, the little….”
“Rat?”
“Something along rodential lines, anyway.”
“Okay, what about one time that Vala told the truth? Anyone? Bueller?”
“As many as one?”
“Good one, Teal’c. Well, shall we see what the rodent in question has to say for herself?”
Teal’c unties the knot at the back of Vala’s neck and she spits out the gag furiously. “You talk about me being rude! Talking about me like I wasn’t even in the room! Untie me! Untie me right now!”
“Can we put the gag back in?” Sam asks.
“You are all going to pay for this!” Vala shrieks right before Teal’c muffles her again.
“And there’s our one time Vala spoke the truth, I’m afraid. We’re going to pay and pay and pay….”
“Conceal your credit cards well, Daniel Jackson.”
“I’ve got your back, Daniel.”
“My back? What about yours and Teal’c’s?”
“This was after all your idea.”
“Yeah, Daniel, it was entirely your idea, after all.”
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Four times Vala lied, and one time she told the truth
Date: 2009-10-12 05:34 pm (UTC)“We would otherwise be here all day,” Teal’c answers.
“Okay, good point. You start, Sam.”
“Well, she lied about liking the earrings I gave her for her birthday. She hasn’t worn them even once.”
“A social lie? A little white lie?”
“Hey, I offered to take her with me to exchange them if she didn’t like them. All she had to do was say so.”
Daniel wags his head back and forth. “Yeahhh, maybe she thought it was more polite not to say anything.”
“Is excessive politeness one of Vala Mal Doran’s attributes?”
“Ha!” Sam laughs.
“Ah, no, maybe not. My turn? She lied about those charges on my credit card. Victoria’s Secret? I think I would remember if I’d been shopping there recently.”
“Did she show you what she bought?”
“You’re not funny, Sam. Teal’c?”
“I have not seen her undergarments.”
“Ha! Count your blessings. No, I meant it’s your turn.”
“She lied about having sexual relations with you.”
“She wishes. Wait. Why are you looking at Sam? Oh, you’re….”
“She what?”
“Indeed.”
“That little….”
“I believe the word is ‘minx’, Colonel Carter.”
“No, no, no. That isn’t the word I was thinking of.”
“Down, Sam. Who’s got a good number 4?”
“Hell, I should’ve led off with this one. ‘Protect a fellow sister’ my ass.”
“I cannot wait.”
“She lied about how long she was a host to Qetesh.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Think about it, Daniel. You don’t get it?”
“Nor do I.”
“That’s because you aren’t women.”
“Oh! In other words, she lied about her age.”
“And asked me not to rat her out, the little….”
“Rat?”
“Something along rodential lines, anyway.”
“Okay, what about one time that Vala told the truth? Anyone? Bueller?”
“As many as one?”
“Good one, Teal’c. Well, shall we see what the rodent in question has to say for herself?”
Teal’c unties the knot at the back of Vala’s neck and she spits out the gag furiously. “You talk about me being rude! Talking about me like I wasn’t even in the room! Untie me! Untie me right now!”
“Can we put the gag back in?” Sam asks.
“You are all going to pay for this!” Vala shrieks right before Teal’c muffles her again.
“And there’s our one time Vala spoke the truth, I’m afraid. We’re going to pay and pay and pay….”
“Conceal your credit cards well, Daniel Jackson.”
“I’ve got your back, Daniel.”
“My back? What about yours and Teal’c’s?”
“This was after all your idea.”
“Yeah, Daniel, it was entirely your idea, after all.”
“You rats!”