5: Night was cold on Abydos; especially away from the fire and the company, but Jack wasn't really in a partying mood. Sure, he was happy the Abydonians were free. Sure, he was shedding no tears about Ra's death. But... a few days on Abydos weren't going to change everything. In fact, he wasn't sure it was going to change anything.
The whisper of moving sand and the flutter of robes alerted him, but the slightly troubled breathing also told him there was no danger.
"Jackson," he acknowledged as the kid sat down next to him.
"I'm getting a little tired of 'Jackson' to tell the truth," Daniel said a little peevishly.
Jack's eyes narrowed. "Then it's a good thing we're going home tomorrow, huh?"
"No, not... it's not... I just... I'm used to being 'Daniel', you know?"
"Yeah," Jack said, more defensively than he'd intended. "Well, work for the military long enough, you'll get used to it."
"Are you used to it?"
Jack didn't answer, and eventually, Daniel spoke again.
"So... what are you going to do when you get home?"
Jack knew what he was being asked, and the truth was he wasn't sure.
"It's not going to hurt anyone, if that's what you're asking." And what do you know, Jack thought; maybe he did know, after all.
"Yes, it will," Daniel disagreed quietly. "It'll hurt people you know; people who admire you."
Jack snorted in disbelief.
"What? Admire a fuck-up who leaves his loaded gun in reach of his son?"
Daniel took a while to think about that, which Jack though was only appropriate.
"Admire the kind of man you've been, Jack. The kind of man you can be again."
Jack shook his head. "I'm done. I'm done with black ops; done with the Air Force. If Sara'll still talk to me when I get back... I'll be lucky."
Jack picked up a fistful of sand and let it slip through his fingers slowly - the metaphor in not way escaping him. "No matter what I do, Charlie's still... still dead."
"I know," Daniel said just as quietly. "I'm sorry. But... you're not. And trust me on this; much though you wanted it to have been you in stead, Charlie wouldn't have wanted that."
They'd talked the rest of that night away, and it had taken years before Jack had told Daniel just how he'd convinced Jack to go back to Earth and live again - and how much he'd needed that when Sara had left him.
Jack will never, ever tell another soul about this. But then again... Daniel probably won't either.
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Date: 2007-03-05 05:10 pm (UTC)The whisper of moving sand and the flutter of robes alerted him, but the slightly troubled breathing also told him there was no danger.
"Jackson," he acknowledged as the kid sat down next to him.
"I'm getting a little tired of 'Jackson' to tell the truth," Daniel said a little peevishly.
Jack's eyes narrowed. "Then it's a good thing we're going home tomorrow, huh?"
"No, not... it's not... I just... I'm used to being 'Daniel', you know?"
"Yeah," Jack said, more defensively than he'd intended. "Well, work for the military long enough, you'll get used to it."
"Are you used to it?"
Jack didn't answer, and eventually, Daniel spoke again.
"So... what are you going to do when you get home?"
Jack knew what he was being asked, and the truth was he wasn't sure.
"It's not going to hurt anyone, if that's what you're asking." And what do you know, Jack thought; maybe he did know, after all.
"Yes, it will," Daniel disagreed quietly. "It'll hurt people you know; people who admire you."
Jack snorted in disbelief.
"What? Admire a fuck-up who leaves his loaded gun in reach of his son?"
Daniel took a while to think about that, which Jack though was only appropriate.
"Admire the kind of man you've been, Jack. The kind of man you can be again."
Jack shook his head. "I'm done. I'm done with black ops; done with the Air Force. If Sara'll still talk to me when I get back... I'll be lucky."
Jack picked up a fistful of sand and let it slip through his fingers slowly - the metaphor in not way escaping him. "No matter what I do, Charlie's still... still dead."
"I know," Daniel said just as quietly. "I'm sorry. But... you're not. And trust me on this; much though you wanted it to have been you in stead, Charlie wouldn't have wanted that."
They'd talked the rest of that night away, and it had taken years before Jack had told Daniel just how he'd convinced Jack to go back to Earth and live again - and how much he'd needed that when Sara had left him.
Jack will never, ever tell another soul about this. But then again... Daniel probably won't either.