As he began to understand that he was human and manage the requirements of living again, he also realized that he was missing a enormous part of himself. Eventually, he could walk and talk (sort of) like the other humans on the planet. He learned to eat their food when his body exhibited signs of hunger or thirst. He knew to take shelter from storms, to wear protective fabric on the bottoms of his feet when outdoors, and to wear the garments the villagers had provided because going without at any time alarmed the others.
He learned to interact with these people, something that came surprisingly easy given how hard the fundamentals of breathing and talking had been to come back. Later, he would credit his anthropological background to taking to their lifestyle so quickly, but he also suspected that a disguised Ascended had remained with him to ensure his survival.
Thus he was fed, clothed, provided lodging. All the essentials, and yet missing something equally vital. He saw the villagers around him, who had names they called themselves. They had families who had named them, spouses who accompanied them, and identities that were established from their very birth.
Daniel was nameless, alone, and he had no idea who he was or had been.
4. He relearned fear.
In coming to understand how strange he was, in realizing that he was the only person on the planet – and perhaps in the entire universe – to be reborn in this way, it dawned on Daniel how dangerous this was.
He was sure he had been protected by the Ascended, then. It was the only reason the community in which he’d landed hadn’t murdered him for acting like a demon. Daniel was a stranger, with no kin connections here. That made him a foreigner, who acted as if he couldn’t control his own body (for a while, he couldn’t) and for a long time would only speak is panicked gibberish. He saw that the villagers feared him, even as they made sure he could live safely among them.
At the same time, he sporadically remembered events from when he was a normal person, who he hoped had lived somewhere with a name and with companions. But he didn’t get those memories.
He got terrifying images of violence and cruelty, of explosions and chaos. They were only flashes, but they scared him. He didn’t understand the visions of humans with glowing eyes, who could throw light. The novelty of bleeding wore off when he got images of being surrounded by dead and wounded – of being wounded himself. He was sure something terrible had happened to him to wipe his memory away, leaving only these nightmarish remnants.
Sometimes he wondered if it was him who had done the terrible thing.
5. He relearned love.
And it was what helped him come home, to the people who knew his name.
He was afraid of these strangers and their weapons, who claimed to be a part of his former life. He knew fear, now, knew that he could be hurt in many ways. He was afraid they would hurt him, afraid that they were a part of the explosions that rang in his head. And he was afraid that if he tried to stay, tried to stay the anonymous peasant in this peaceful village, that they would hurt the others that he now lived with.
He understood affection and kindness, now, in as much as he had seen it with his caretakers, then with his neighbors, and the way the villagers interacted with people who had names. So, he was deliberately cold to these strangers that wanted him to leave. And he saw the hurt in their eyes. It was shocking, because no one in this village ever reacted to him like that. They were afraid, annoyed, and frequently confused by the amnesiac in their midst, but his plight got little more than tolerance and sympathy. He recognized confusion in these strangers, but beneath that was undisguised horror when he rejected them. Joy at finding him, and horror that he did not return their emotion.
This frightened him, too, because he had no idea what came after this. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to the life that had been so bad it had to have been completely erased. But the way these people looked at him made him hope. He wished that it meant his previous life had perhaps had family, friends, and love.
So he let them take him and give him back his name.
no subject
As he began to understand that he was human and manage the requirements of living again, he also realized that he was missing a enormous part of himself. Eventually, he could walk and talk (sort of) like the other humans on the planet. He learned to eat their food when his body exhibited signs of hunger or thirst. He knew to take shelter from storms, to wear protective fabric on the bottoms of his feet when outdoors, and to wear the garments the villagers had provided because going without at any time alarmed the others.
He learned to interact with these people, something that came surprisingly easy given how hard the fundamentals of breathing and talking had been to come back. Later, he would credit his anthropological background to taking to their lifestyle so quickly, but he also suspected that a disguised Ascended had remained with him to ensure his survival.
Thus he was fed, clothed, provided lodging. All the essentials, and yet missing something equally vital. He saw the villagers around him, who had names they called themselves. They had families who had named them, spouses who accompanied them, and identities that were established from their very birth.
Daniel was nameless, alone, and he had no idea who he was or had been.
4. He relearned fear.
In coming to understand how strange he was, in realizing that he was the only person on the planet – and perhaps in the entire universe – to be reborn in this way, it dawned on Daniel how dangerous this was.
He was sure he had been protected by the Ascended, then. It was the only reason the community in which he’d landed hadn’t murdered him for acting like a demon. Daniel was a stranger, with no kin connections here. That made him a foreigner, who acted as if he couldn’t control his own body (for a while, he couldn’t) and for a long time would only speak is panicked gibberish. He saw that the villagers feared him, even as they made sure he could live safely among them.
At the same time, he sporadically remembered events from when he was a normal person, who he hoped had lived somewhere with a name and with companions. But he didn’t get those memories.
He got terrifying images of violence and cruelty, of explosions and chaos. They were only flashes, but they scared him. He didn’t understand the visions of humans with glowing eyes, who could throw light. The novelty of bleeding wore off when he got images of being surrounded by dead and wounded – of being wounded himself. He was sure something terrible had happened to him to wipe his memory away, leaving only these nightmarish remnants.
Sometimes he wondered if it was him who had done the terrible thing.
5. He relearned love.
And it was what helped him come home, to the people who knew his name.
He was afraid of these strangers and their weapons, who claimed to be a part of his former life. He knew fear, now, knew that he could be hurt in many ways. He was afraid they would hurt him, afraid that they were a part of the explosions that rang in his head. And he was afraid that if he tried to stay, tried to stay the anonymous peasant in this peaceful village, that they would hurt the others that he now lived with.
He understood affection and kindness, now, in as much as he had seen it with his caretakers, then with his neighbors, and the way the villagers interacted with people who had names. So, he was deliberately cold to these strangers that wanted him to leave. And he saw the hurt in their eyes. It was shocking, because no one in this village ever reacted to him like that. They were afraid, annoyed, and frequently confused by the amnesiac in their midst, but his plight got little more than tolerance and sympathy. He recognized confusion in these strangers, but beneath that was undisguised horror when he rejected them. Joy at finding him, and horror that he did not return their emotion.
This frightened him, too, because he had no idea what came after this. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to the life that had been so bad it had to have been completely erased. But the way these people looked at him made him hope. He wished that it meant his previous life had perhaps had family, friends, and love.
So he let them take him and give him back his name.