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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond, which he was finally able to laugh about at his retirement party.
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Participation is open to all. If this is your own prompt, you're free to write to it (please do!). Post your list as a comment to this post, adding additional comments if you exceed the character limit. It's OK to post as Anonymous, then come out later or not as you choose. Responses will be screened until midday U.S. Pacific time October 1 to see what people come up with independently. You can still respond to the prompt after the unveiling, but October 1 is the official due date.
General info and a place to ask questions: the comm 'welcome' post.
Technical-support questions: tech help.
Suggestions: the suggestion box.
To supply a new prompt: the open call for prompts.
It's still an appreciated courtesy to include a subject-line warning for spoilers of any back-half S10/S3 episodes, especially the season finales. Thanks!
If you're posting a response after the unveiling announcement, please copy the link to your comment, click on the 'set 28' tag, and reply to the post 'Set 28 Unscreened' with the link to your new comment-response. That helps people find and read and comment on responses that weren't there when they cruised through right after the reveal. :-)
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From: (Anonymous)
no subject
sam used words he couldn't understand.
teal'c used too few words.
jack used terms like; frag-off & son-of-a-bee.
daniel took forever to get to the point.
2. they were reluctant to go to their regularly scheduled psychological exams
3. they weren't big on physicals either
4. when they went back to 1969. his younger self had a headache over that
5. he often had a feeling that they held stuff back from their reports
From:
Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
The right side of his head began to throb when Col. Simmons heard about the child Teal’c and showed up to claim him. George was left in the position of having to balance his own urge to strangle Simmons with the political game of chess needed to shut him up, not to mention keeping SG-1 from staging an out right coup to keep their teammate safe. George expected Col. O’Neill to plot Simmons’s death, even Carter, but he was unprepared for the cold ruthlessness of Dr. Jackson whose calmly worded promise of pain made Simmons stutter in fear. In the end, he finally convinced the Pentagon that the Tok’ra would handle this or they’d walk from their treaty; it was an out right lie, but he knew Jacob would back him up.
A week later, he had a fully grown Jaffa back with no memory of his re-lived childhood, and had heard Simmons was hospitalized for a week with food poisoning, which SG-1 denied any knowledge about. He did, however, see a smirking cook when he mentioned it to Dr. Frasier. But at his party, they didn’t talk about any of that - they laughed at O’Neill teaching toddler Teal’c all about Sesame Street and hockey, how Carter had gone overboard at Target buying 13 pairs of jean overalls, shirts with frogs on them and teeny-tiny sneakers, and how Daniel had read him bedtime stories for hours.
2. It seemed that every other mission SG-1 went on resulted in new chapters being added to the “Thou Shall Not On Missions” book. His favorite, although it meant fudging every single mission report, was the one that necessitated the chapter on “Thou shall not insult a planet’s sacred jackeloupe or unicorn as silly, imaginary, and/or stupid.” It was worth it, though, when he had locked himself in his office to laugh at Col. O’Neill’s hair and body being dyed purple for a week.
3. Everyone found it amusing when it was revealed that SG-1 being missing, presumed dead, or AWOL was so commonplace, the necessary forms were kept in a separate folder already filled out, with only the date and place to be added. He also kept the “found them alive and well, and I forgave them after a stern talking to because they saved our asses again” forms pre filled as well.
4. George hated coming into the office when Maj. Carter and Dr. Jackson had pulled three or four all-nighters in a row. That was when they tended to get silly and acted in ways less becoming for two adults with multiple degrees. For some unknown reason, he was their favorite target, although he assumed it was because the one time they had glued Siler’s wrench to his workbench, he had arranged for their cars to be disassembled.
The worst prank was when three hours before the Joint Chiefs were due to arrive, he stepped into his office to find all the furniture replaced with tiny desks and colorful plastic chairs from the nursery attached to NORAD. Somehow, they had managed to even drag down the special reading corner beanbags and play kitchen. A glitter-covered banner declaring, “You Are Special” hung over the spot where his desk was suppose to be. Col O’Neill and Teal’c were no help once they found out what had occurred, they just laughed and were miffed they had not been included in the execution. George made sure they were included in the clean up, however, and the baking of cookies to apologize to the toddlers they had stolen from.
(What he never told anyone was that he kept the plaster hand prints Dr. Jackson and Maj. Carter had made for him; he hung them next to the one made by a 5 year old Sam Carter for her favorite aunt and uncle.)
5. His headaches started every time SG-1, or three or nineteen, went off world. It only dissipated when the teams returned with all four members, healthy and whole. Just that they had survived and were smiling as they sipped beer made George laugh with sheer joy.
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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... (part 1)
2) In George’s experience, there was a point of maximum inebriated hilarity at most parties, after which either the alcohol ran out or the dedicated drinkers began their slide toward unconsciousness and the not-so-dedicated drinkers finished their last drinks. It was just at that point during his retirement party that someone, who had been at the SGC long enough to remember back that far, brought up the time Teal’c had attempted to have a pizza delivered to him on base. As George remembered it, the guards outside the complex had called NORAD, and NORAD had called him. The whole thing had ballooned into a migraine-inducing operation complete with emergency security clearance, armed escorts and one extremely nervous seventeen-year-old delivery girl, but Teal’c had gotten his pizza. George looked around the crowd for Teal’c, worried that he’d be offended, but Teal’c merely inclined his head serenely and made his way over to offer his thanks for the extreme pains George had taken to permit him to experience that particular aspect of Earth culture. At that point, George felt free to chuckle to himself over the memory of the delivery girl and her four guards and Teal’c solemnly receiving the pizza box at the door to his quarters.
3) Shortly after the incident with Jolinar and the ashrak, George had been at the Pentagon for a meeting with the Joint Chiefs. He had no idea how General Carter had found out about his daughter’s injury, but Jacob had waylaid him in the hallway after the meeting, grabbed him by the lapels, and demanded to know how the hell Samantha could possibly have been so seriously injured in the line of duty doing deep-space radar telemetry. George hadn’t been able to give any answer to satisfy or reassure Samantha’s irate father. He’d nursed the resulting headache all the way back to Colorado Springs. He wasn’t sure why he ended up telling Colonel Carter about it at his retirement party, but she laughed, and he did too, although it wasn’t much of a laugh, with Jacob gone. Sam might laugh at her overprotective father, but for himself, George knew that until he saw the stars pinned on her shoulders and her field career behind her, he was never going to rest much easier than Jacob once had, knowing the risks she routinely ran. He laughed, not at the helpless concern of fathers, but because Sam did, and because he was still certain, seven years later, that had they not both been generals in a very public hallway in the Pentagon, Jacob Carter would have punched him then and there for failing to protect his daughter.
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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... (part 2)
5) Colonel Jack O’Neill had been giving George Hammond headaches since the very first time he laid eyes on him. After Jack had been escorted out of the ‘Gate room to the cell where Kawalsky and Ferretti were being held, that very first night, George had gone back to his office and pulled his emergency supply of acetaminophen out of his desk. Years and innumerable bottles of assorted painkillers later, General O’Neill was the last guest left at George’s retirement party. George ushered Jack into the kitchen and replaced the last few bottles of beer on the table with a bottle of scotch. Then, from his bathroom medicine cabinet, he brought out his last bottle of Ibuprofen and set it down in front of Jack. Jack took it in and turned his intense gaze on George. “Was it worth it, sir?” he asked. George picked up the bottle, tossed it into the trash, and smiled broadly at one of the finest officers and finest men he’d ever had the privilege to command. “Absolutely.”
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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 1-3
1. Walter came up and kissed George lightly on the cheek, handing him a glass of champagne. “Thank you, Walter. The party is wonderful. And the Honeymoon Suite! You think of everything.” George kissed him on the lips then smiled. Gesturing his glass toward the roomful of friends, George spied Mitchell and Mal Doran talking. Nearby, Teal'c and Carter were standing together, both gazing across the room. Most likely waiting for the appearance of their old friends, George thought. He shook his head in wonder. “I can’t believe you’ve brought all these people here to Washington.”
Following George’s gaze, Walter whispered into his ear. “Remember when SG-1 almost walked in on us and I had my tongue down you’re throat and my hand down your pants? You said Colonel O’Neill had them doing the quickest ‘about-face and retreat’ you’d ever seen.”
George chuckled. “That headache lasted for weeks. But Jack never once mentioned it to me. I’ll have to remember to ask him about it when he gets here.”
Walter drew George in for a deep kiss. Releasing him, he said, “Leaving the Air Force to be with you was the second best thing I’ve ever done.”
George grinned, chuckling again. “And the first?”
Walter’s hand slid down to squeeze George’s ass. “You.”
2. Paul Davis smiled knowingly, and transferred his champagne glass to his left hand to shake hands with George. “You will always have my utmost respect for dealing with SG-1 all those years, sir. You do know, that when they all came back and infected the SGC with that ‘promiscuity’ virus, the Pentagon was actually considering remotely activating the auto-destruct system?”
George snickered like a schoolboy. “Walter and I learned a lot that day. Good thing Jack was in charge those 24 hours; he destroyed every tape but one. We never did find out why he was the only person on base unaffected. Maybe if Doctor Jackson had been there . . .” George lowered his voice to a whisper. “That one tape is from the gateroom orgy. We brought it with us . . .” He lightly elbowed Paul. “After this shindig’s over. You, me, Walter; it’ll be like the old days.”
Paul choked. “I’m in a relationship now.”
George guffawed. “What? You still with that Graham Simmons boy?”
“He’s hardly a ‘boy’ now, sir.”
Hammond lowered his voice. “He’s on the tape with Jonas Quinn.”
“I’ll be there.”
3. “Master Bra’tac.” George bowed his head slightly, realizing his old friend had aged a great deal in recent years. “I am honored you would travel so far to attend my retirement party.”
“Hammond of Texas.” Bra’tac returned the nod. “George. If not for you and SG-1, I would not have known my dearest Jacob and Selmak.” Bra’tac was grinning. “Or you and your Walter,” he added slyly. “Your SG-1 was a pain in the mikta in their time; were they not?”
George nodded, laughing. “Keeping that team in the dark for several years was a constant headache. But it was for the best. They were the best,” he added a little wistfully.
“Your Walter has invited me to your room after the celebration.”
George slapped Bra’tac on the shoulder. “This night just keeps getting better and better! So tell me, what do you think about Hank Landry?”
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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 4
George patted his shoulder. “I may be able to help you there, Hank.”
Landry wasn’t listening. “Those two, then Carter bein’ with Vala. What is it with SGC people? Dontcha think you could’ve warned me? O’Neill never said a word!”
George laughed out loud. “You’re kiddin’ me, Hank! Jack never knew a thing!” George reconsidered. “Well, he caught me an’ Walter in a liplock once, but the man was clueless. Still is. But I trust him like no one else.”
“O’Neill’s straighter than my whiskey.” Landry snorted. “And Jackson? Hell, he turns down everything that isn’t a book.”
Hammond nodded. “My biggest headache with SG-1 was Jack O’Neill. Still, there’s got to be a few straight men in every command. When he and Doctor Jackson get here, they’re both in for a few surprises.” George removed the whiskey from Hank’s hand and replaced it with a mug of coffee from a passing waiter. “I may just have a surprise for you, too. You’re staying in the hotel, aren’t you? Good. Oh, look. There’s Bra’tac.”
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Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
As they always did when attending a downtown event when Daniel made his semi-monthly visits to Jack in Washington, they were heading into the elevator to go up to their shared hotel room.
Alone in the elevator, Daniel joined Jack, leaning on the back wall, watching the slow change of the floor numbers. A muted Sinatra could be heard from the speakers.
Jack nudged Daniel slightly, asking, “What?”
“Hammond told me, that worrying what I might discover about him and Walter was a constant headache when we were on SG-1.” Daniel grinned, pressing his shoulder warmly against Jack’s. “Then he laughed so hard I was worried for a minute.” Though they were alone, Daniel lowered his voice and spoke softly into Jack’s ear. “Did he tell you that, too? And why?”
Jack snorted. “I told you I saw Hammond with Walter years ago, Daniel, but you didn’t believe me!”
“So? I told you about Teal'c and Mitchell, and you didn’t believe me, either.”
“For cryin’ out loud. You didn’t even know about Carter and that Vala!”
“Give me a break. You were clueless, too. And I always thought Sam had a thing for you.”
“So did I. And I thought Vala liked you.”
“Same here.” Daniel shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against Jack’s. “The one that surprised me most was Paul Davis and Graham Simmons. I didn’t know they even knew each other.”
“What about Jacob and Bra’tac?” Jack shuddered. He pressed his hand against the small of Daniel’s back as they left the elevator. “And Selmak,” he added with another shiver. He put his arm across Daniel’s shoulders as they walked down the carpeted hall to their room.
“What about Jonas? He was with Siler, and then Nyan for a while, too.”
“Quinn was a slut.”
Daniel nodded, opening the hotel room door. “Do you ever think we should have--”
“No.” Jack walked in, pulled at his tie, and began undressing.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Daniel locked the door, kicked off his shoes and undressed to his boxers, while Jack went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
“You were going to say,” Jack continued, exiting the bathroom and brushing by Daniel, who was on his way in, “we should have known about all of them.” Jack slipped his boxers off, pulled back the bedcovers on the bed closest to the door, and stretched out on the sheets with a groan.
Leaving the bathroom, Daniel slipped off his briefs. He pulled the covers down on the other bed and stopped to wave a hand in the air. “We’ve been totally clueless for years!”
Jack snorted, pulled up his covers and got comfortable. “Not any more.”
“Well, no.” Daniel rearranged his pillow and blankets, and climbed into his bed. “So, what do you want to do tomorrow?”
“There’s a new exhibit at the Smithsonian since you were here last. I think you’ll like it. Let’s do that. Then you can take me out to dinner.”
“’Kay. Sounds good.” Daniel yawned. “’Night, Jack.”
Jack reached out and turned off the light between the beds. “’Night, Daniel.”
“Jack?”
“Daniel?”
“You never thought about it?”
“Nope. You?” Jack could hear Daniel moving, and smiled at the familiar sounds. He knew Daniel had turned onto his side to prop his head up with one hand, while the other waved in the dark.
“Well . . . I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought about. But I never seriously considered it. You just don’t do it for me that way. I like what we have, Jack. I don’t need anything else.”
“Works for me.” He heard Daniel settle back into his pillows. “I love you, Daniel.”
“I love you, too, Jack.”
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
From:
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This was a great list, left me with a huge smile. (#2! *snicker*) XD
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
They're all so great, though! #1 is adorable -- teeny Teal'c! (And how much do I love that it's Daniel steps up to the plate?) And #2 and #4...hee! A very fun list. :)
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... (part 2)
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... (part 2)
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
Your list rocks.
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
"Quinn was a slut." ... Heh.
And #5 was soooo lovely. Of course, they gravitated towards each other in the night unbidden and wound up having tender but mind-blowing sex anayway. Didn't they????
Nice work. :-))
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... (part 2)
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5
This was even my prompt, and the list didn't go anything like I thought it would. Obviously. :-) So, there's a remix-ish thing coming soon.
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Re: Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond... 5