1. He didn’t understand what Maj. Carter spouted to explain just why Teal’c had been turned into a 2 year-old child, he just knew that the left side of his head started throbbing. Dr. Jackson mentioned it was a way to eliminate the threat of the Gao’uld by turning the Jaffa armies into toddlers. They were trying to tell the people of the planet that Teal’c was good man and needed to be reverted back to an adult.
The right side of his head began to throb when Col. Simmons heard about the child Teal’c and showed up to claim him. George was left in the position of having to balance his own urge to strangle Simmons with the political game of chess needed to shut him up, not to mention keeping SG-1 from staging an out right coup to keep their teammate safe. George expected Col. O’Neill to plot Simmons’s death, even Carter, but he was unprepared for the cold ruthlessness of Dr. Jackson whose calmly worded promise of pain made Simmons stutter in fear. In the end, he finally convinced the Pentagon that the Tok’ra would handle this or they’d walk from their treaty; it was an out right lie, but he knew Jacob would back him up.
A week later, he had a fully grown Jaffa back with no memory of his re-lived childhood, and had heard Simmons was hospitalized for a week with food poisoning, which SG-1 denied any knowledge about. He did, however, see a smirking cook when he mentioned it to Dr. Frasier. But at his party, they didn’t talk about any of that - they laughed at O’Neill teaching toddler Teal’c all about Sesame Street and hockey, how Carter had gone overboard at Target buying 13 pairs of jean overalls, shirts with frogs on them and teeny-tiny sneakers, and how Daniel had read him bedtime stories for hours.
2. It seemed that every other mission SG-1 went on resulted in new chapters being added to the “Thou Shall Not On Missions” book. His favorite, although it meant fudging every single mission report, was the one that necessitated the chapter on “Thou shall not insult a planet’s sacred jackeloupe or unicorn as silly, imaginary, and/or stupid.” It was worth it, though, when he had locked himself in his office to laugh at Col. O’Neill’s hair and body being dyed purple for a week.
3. Everyone found it amusing when it was revealed that SG-1 being missing, presumed dead, or AWOL was so commonplace, the necessary forms were kept in a separate folder already filled out, with only the date and place to be added. He also kept the “found them alive and well, and I forgave them after a stern talking to because they saved our asses again” forms pre filled as well.
4. George hated coming into the office when Maj. Carter and Dr. Jackson had pulled three or four all-nighters in a row. That was when they tended to get silly and acted in ways less becoming for two adults with multiple degrees. For some unknown reason, he was their favorite target, although he assumed it was because the one time they had glued Siler’s wrench to his workbench, he had arranged for their cars to be disassembled.
The worst prank was when three hours before the Joint Chiefs were due to arrive, he stepped into his office to find all the furniture replaced with tiny desks and colorful plastic chairs from the nursery attached to NORAD. Somehow, they had managed to even drag down the special reading corner beanbags and play kitchen. A glitter-covered banner declaring, “You Are Special” hung over the spot where his desk was suppose to be. Col O’Neill and Teal’c were no help once they found out what had occurred, they just laughed and were miffed they had not been included in the execution. George made sure they were included in the clean up, however, and the baking of cookies to apologize to the toddlers they had stolen from.
(What he never told anyone was that he kept the plaster hand prints Dr. Jackson and Maj. Carter had made for him; he hung them next to the one made by a 5 year old Sam Carter for her favorite aunt and uncle.)
5. His headaches started every time SG-1, or three or nineteen, went off world. It only dissipated when the teams returned with all four members, healthy and whole. Just that they had survived and were smiling as they sipped beer made George laugh with sheer joy.
Five headaches SG-1 gave George Hammond
The right side of his head began to throb when Col. Simmons heard about the child Teal’c and showed up to claim him. George was left in the position of having to balance his own urge to strangle Simmons with the political game of chess needed to shut him up, not to mention keeping SG-1 from staging an out right coup to keep their teammate safe. George expected Col. O’Neill to plot Simmons’s death, even Carter, but he was unprepared for the cold ruthlessness of Dr. Jackson whose calmly worded promise of pain made Simmons stutter in fear. In the end, he finally convinced the Pentagon that the Tok’ra would handle this or they’d walk from their treaty; it was an out right lie, but he knew Jacob would back him up.
A week later, he had a fully grown Jaffa back with no memory of his re-lived childhood, and had heard Simmons was hospitalized for a week with food poisoning, which SG-1 denied any knowledge about. He did, however, see a smirking cook when he mentioned it to Dr. Frasier. But at his party, they didn’t talk about any of that - they laughed at O’Neill teaching toddler Teal’c all about Sesame Street and hockey, how Carter had gone overboard at Target buying 13 pairs of jean overalls, shirts with frogs on them and teeny-tiny sneakers, and how Daniel had read him bedtime stories for hours.
2. It seemed that every other mission SG-1 went on resulted in new chapters being added to the “Thou Shall Not On Missions” book. His favorite, although it meant fudging every single mission report, was the one that necessitated the chapter on “Thou shall not insult a planet’s sacred jackeloupe or unicorn as silly, imaginary, and/or stupid.” It was worth it, though, when he had locked himself in his office to laugh at Col. O’Neill’s hair and body being dyed purple for a week.
3. Everyone found it amusing when it was revealed that SG-1 being missing, presumed dead, or AWOL was so commonplace, the necessary forms were kept in a separate folder already filled out, with only the date and place to be added. He also kept the “found them alive and well, and I forgave them after a stern talking to because they saved our asses again” forms pre filled as well.
4. George hated coming into the office when Maj. Carter and Dr. Jackson had pulled three or four all-nighters in a row. That was when they tended to get silly and acted in ways less becoming for two adults with multiple degrees. For some unknown reason, he was their favorite target, although he assumed it was because the one time they had glued Siler’s wrench to his workbench, he had arranged for their cars to be disassembled.
The worst prank was when three hours before the Joint Chiefs were due to arrive, he stepped into his office to find all the furniture replaced with tiny desks and colorful plastic chairs from the nursery attached to NORAD. Somehow, they had managed to even drag down the special reading corner beanbags and play kitchen. A glitter-covered banner declaring, “You Are Special” hung over the spot where his desk was suppose to be. Col O’Neill and Teal’c were no help once they found out what had occurred, they just laughed and were miffed they had not been included in the execution. George made sure they were included in the clean up, however, and the baking of cookies to apologize to the toddlers they had stolen from.
(What he never told anyone was that he kept the plaster hand prints Dr. Jackson and Maj. Carter had made for him; he hung them next to the one made by a 5 year old Sam Carter for her favorite aunt and uncle.)
5. His headaches started every time SG-1, or three or nineteen, went off world. It only dissipated when the teams returned with all four members, healthy and whole. Just that they had survived and were smiling as they sipped beer made George laugh with sheer joy.